Friday, September 26, 2008

Bomb Blast and Flatulence

I was kind of inspired to pen this crap as a continuation of couple of outpourings I did in response to two articles in rediff. Yes Yes I did become one of the dogs chasing the speeding car ( The group which  writes really angry and "makes no sense" comments on the website) .

The first article headline kind of shook me as it said "Fact finding team finds loopholes in Delhi encounter" ( Like one of those gooey eyed morons getting sucked into the pyramid schemes I clicked the link with trembling hands and entered the magical world of imbeciles residing at the rediff editorial team. The fact finding team consisted of 14 highly capable investigators headed by an truly impartial and committed only to the cause of truth Professor Siddique Hassan , wait ! it gets better he has additional responsibility of dy. amir Jamat-e-Islami Hind an organisation committed to communal peace and harmony. He was ably supported by champion of secular movement and goodwill ambassador for India on the Kashmir issue SAR Geelani. "Then There Were 12" , people so respected in field of investigative research that there is a serious research going on actually who these people are ( See I told you they are good).   Now the Article mentions about the relentless pursuit for the hidden truth which has taken substantial sheen off Fox moulder and Agent Scully. In fact the techniques used were so good and stunning , to say the least Sony and Colors are fighting over rights to convert them into a realty series , I am sure aaj tak and India TV ( India's leading fiction TV channels) would by the time I am writing this ramble would have beaten them to it. The clinching evidence "The committee says that in case the shots had been fired from a distance then the wounds would have opened up, but in this case that had not happened"   Let the ballistics be damned our team was so good one look at the photo and they could tell you what happened. I am getting convinced these guys are too good for Indian television and CBS might just pick this up for coming fall line up. They would have come up with even more damning proof but one small glitch "People were nervous and requesting the team not to mention their names under any circumstances".Aah ! So sad no damn court , no committee if the damn people were not so scared ,the truth would have been out there. In my school days venn diagrams would come in my dream and always throw me out of the  universe of intelligent people but now the team used the theory to prove the culpable crime of Delhi police , you know what "The team said they could not find a single person in the locality who believed the police version of events. " So the police version is destined to the crap of universe, but the team in its infinite wisdom missed one explanation . Having gone through the entire article I realised why the fuck have they forgotten to mention about Inspector Sharma, so I decided to come to their aid. Here it goes "Sharma and his team reach the secular neighborhood of Jamia Nagar and  randomly chose an apartment with four peace loving secular students (Incidentally one of the guys arrested in Bombay a week earlier also by mistake choses the same guys randomly as associated with flatulence induced blast across the country). Then they follow this sequence of events "Initially there were gunshots for 15 minutes. Then it stopped for a while. Then after a while the police went on firing intermittently for sometime to show that it was a real encounter. In between, the police went on shouting loudly to create a feeling of real exchange of fire and project a real encounter. The witnesses also said after the firing, the police had destroyed the flowerpots of the L-18 flat and adjacent flats and used broken pots to break windowpanes of L-18 to make it look like a real encounter ".  Then police carried a cache of AK 47 and other ammunition a (receipt for withdrawal from the government armory is available with the team)  and placed it in the house of the four innocent secular peace loving students. Then the unthinkable happened consumed by the guilt of having killed the peacniks Inspector Sharma in moment of rage then took of his shoes and jammed his pinky into the AK 47  trigger and shot himself dead , what a dumb ass.

More than the the highly evolved and committed to the cause of truth 'fact finding team' it is the nincompoops at rediff that surprise me. I fully agree with the  view that every society should have avenue for expressing the sentiments against popular perception . But it seems that some new partially evolved simians is in charge at rediff for last three weeks at least. Partially evolved since they have the ability to convert a rambling into headline news. This is probably third or fourth such article where a bunch of nobodies counter viewpoint to popular perception has been presented as news item. My message to the the simians in the sign language is "morons wake and smell the banana shake , credibility may not be high point of Aaj Tak and India TV but you imbeciles have some past reputation to defend , ask some retarded fucker to actually read the article before you post it, it would make more sense than it is presently"

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Shards of Sharpenel

Shards of shrapnel are the pieces that remain embedded in your body ages after the blast. All surgeons try to extract as many pieces as possible but there are some pieces that remain so entrenched into the body that it is in the best interest of everybody to leave them there. Those pieces are like the bookmarks in the our life history. Every relationship that goes bust in our life is like a blast ( I guess in that is why they are referred to as blast from past), and they leave shrapnel wounds some temporary , some leave scar and some remain embedded in our body. And one of those rainy evenings these small pieces of metal from the past inflict a small bearable pain , but pain nonetheless.
It is better to love and lose it than never been loved at all and it is even better to love and lose it and find love again. Relationship failure usually leaves us with a shrapnel wound in most cases but yes there are rare cases of fatal one's, but I am talking mortals and select few can always be explained as exception.
In retrospect all mistakes can be corrected or fate can be made a willing accomplice but it is in flashing moment of truth that lines of reason get blurred and moments of madness destroy what is sacred. Every relationship that did not culminate in a way which is widely accepted as success leaves a galaxy of wisdom and it is these pieces of matter that form the building blocks of future universe. There painful memories remind us also of good times that preceded them and also it brings with it the realisation there are moments in life when we gave precedence to some one else other than ourselves and how it felt. It is this very realisation that makes us love once again and in spite of the embedded pieces of metal the soldier moves on to next battle and well and truly believes this will be a victorious one.
But never forget that the shards also make you leave a piece of you behind and always and always keeps a "what if ?" moment somewhere , sometime in some future in some unexpected bend.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Moron Called Karunanidhi

The latest slugfest going on between Karunanidhi and the BJP over Ram Setu is finally getting on to my nerves. On one hand we have a moron who claims himself to be a Atheist , who wears only yellow towel as angavastaram as it is the recommended colour by his astrologer and on the other hand we have party which is not even sure if it exists or not. The diabolical, polygamist Karunanidhi who is nothing but representative of a mass bunch of Hypocrites who believe in god in private and decry him in public. Karunanidhi who claims to have mastery over the literary classic Ramayana and is challenging BJP to debate him on it is not at fault it is the bunch of wimps called the public of Tamilnadu which is at fault. A state once said to be the brains of the nation is today nothing but a sad reminder of past , development is virtually at standstill, brain drain is at its peak , the once famed education system is churning out kids with no real or apparent skills for real world, there is no water in cities and what is our top priority , whether Ram exists or not ? It is only matter of time before Cities like Bangalore , Ahmedabad and Hyderabad would strip the tag of a Metro from Madras (I refuse to call to Chennai , because one moron thinks that is what it should be called). How are we responding to the challenge posted by other cities, by handing out free TV sets to public and launching a TV channel and cable network with government money. Over and above this we have completely deranged personality called Ramdoss with a retarded son who is calling shots on how people should piss and exactly how much leg you can spread while doing it.
I am not a great believer in philosophies of Narendra Modi but his religious personal belief have not come in way of his prime focus, development of the state. Even the intellectually stunted left has shown tremendous foresight in West Bengal, Haryana and Punjab have managed to grow even under the most corrupt political system possible, for god’ s sake Bihar and Orissa are showing signs of growth and what is Tamilnadu doing trying to dig up a piece of Sea which no one is going to use.
I could write a treatise proving that Lord Ram existed in some form or other but that is not the issue we have. The broader problem is the abyss in which Tamilnadu is in right now , where a bunch of wimps who are religious beyond compare allow their leader to pass uncharitable comment on their belief and fete him for it.The solution lies in the Tamilian actually growing a spine and stop believing that the bunch of hair below his nose makes him a man.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Shahrukh and Internet Community

This post is reflection of my thoughts after watching an unique phenomenon over few Indian websites discussing movies. Even though this thread goes against the basic tenet of me being a cynic , I decided to side against the cynics on the web.

The comments section of any movie review on Rediff is one of the best place to see this phenomenon , but you would find these creatures in other places too, like passion of cinema or Indiatimes . This is the so called elevated intellectual and SRK bashing brigade. I just noticed that irrespective of the movie being reviewed there would be at least a couple of comments on how SRK is a bad actor and how his movies suck. I presume this the bunch that writes the comment on the web and then heads straight to the adlabs website to book a ticket for next SRK movie , the collections of his movies do not seem to reflect the anguish of an average dimwit blogger on the rediff. Even super dud like Don seems to have grossed enough to send the producers laughing all the way to the bank. A commercial disaster like Paheli finds its way to Oscar nomination and past achievements need not be discussed here at all. I am sure a movie and the stars in it are not merely some people playing parts for which they are paid. We in India pride ourselves on ability to associate with the protagonist on what we want to do ourselves but are unable to even muster courage to think about it. It is for that reason alone I like SRK better than any other hero in Indian cinema, he presents a whole rounded role model. Irrespective how much my web friends want to argue SRK is yet to see the other side of law for either shooting a grazing buck or razing the city muck or innocently holding weapons for people who destroyed a city and all in good faith.Neither has after all the years of struggle together short changed the spouse for a newer younger model after the previous one had lost its sheen. He hasn't gone around letting his wife open fashion boutique forcing all his friends to make special appearances and for sake of damned paparazzi buy something or even worse make her an interior decorator messing up houses of whos who of nobodyland. He has more friends than foes in the Industry , he has not forgotten any of his old friends and it is visible in all the damned news you get around. He has put all he has earned back into the trade he earned it from. He has put his money where his mouth is , what more do you need from him.

I believe constructive criticism is good , but one sided rants by stunted rats on the rediff are simply unbearable.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Finally It Happened

Yes sir I do remember quite a few cries,

some mine some friends and few of the foes,

but nothing moves the thought of me as this does,

cause all it takes to scare me now is whimper just as it goes,

In my time I stood a lot of foes with might,

Some of it I won in some I put up a good fight,

but I do not sleep a wink fearing now all night,

cause there is finally a battle I do not care if I am right,

I have shared and shot a lot of great thinkers and put them in bind,

some of them were bright and some just were part of great grind,

but I am stumped for the word and all that I that have in mind,

cause what would I not do to decipher all of which is garbled wind,

I had thought I had my wants and dislikes all figured,

Some of it born with me some I acquired,

but now with a smile I do every possible act I despised,

cause what I do is not what I would give away even if the world was offered,

Yes sir I have a daughter and that is all I am for here.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Go No Go - Ass Is Where Is

With rain pouring over the obscene concrete monsters and flowing down to the black concoction of rock and tar and finally lapping all the brown earth it could ,before flowing to nowhere. I stood in front of a concrete monster and waited , hoping for my destiny to change and praying for a taxi to arrive. It is strange that our most thought provoking or nostalgic moments are not the moments where we intend them to be, but usually are those few times of waiting for some trivial thing. Rain has this inherent tendency to depress you, unlike any other climate the rain tries to enthrall the tears trapped within you and bring them out to finally amalgamate with all the water around you. The strong resist and fool themselves while the weak give in and find solace. The water was coming into earth with such ferocity that it would have taken only stronger heart or desperate for themselves to come out and venture into open. Since stronger heart is not my description , I would by corollary the desperate for themselves. I was waiting in this rain for another desperate for themselves soul who would be mad enough to drive me through the modern seas and would hopefully have the necessary equipments to convert his vehicle into a amphibian structure. It was at this moment I realized , I was going nowhere , unfortunately for me both literally and figuratively. Unlike my other material pursuits in my life , I decided to just fold up and return to my haunting abode. I keep my physical belonging and usually come back in night to the eighth floor of the concrete monster. Somehow I have stopped calling it my home or even house for long time now. There is a problem to being cynical , you have to devise new and demeaning descriptions everything normal and if they are used repeatedly in your life , then you will have to remember them.

Opening the door to hollow of my life , I could smell the fungal humidity in abandon. The abode (haunting) has all the necessary modern amenities that money could buy (proverbial) and as expected from the build up I have given, lacked all that money cannot buy (again proverbial). I have somehow got so used to the darkness around and within me , that I find it difficult to justify the money I pay to the local energy company. With the material belonging in the abode following absolute anarchy , it is an art dodging all these monstrous protrusions and traveling from one point to another. Since the darkness engulfs all and I see no hope of restoring the order among the material things, I have converted the art into a form of near exact science. With precision I moved towards my sanctum sanatoria and opened yet another hollow, this time in the wall to change into something that goes with the darkness. After changing into a pair of cloths I can’t figure out what color they were or what color they are now, I sat down to muse over my follies.

Follies are a very strange set of incidents , a perfectly genuine and justifiable action at point of decision making turns into a folly in hindsight. Logic states , we arrived at a justifiable decision by eliminating what would have been follies , then if we conclude at a later stage in life that , a particular action was a folly , then by corollary one of the options which we eliminated was the right decision. Going even further if we state that , probably the right decision was not even thought about at the time of action, then by logic the decision made was best available at the point of action , then again it cannot be a folly. Hence there is not decision or course of action in life , which can be a mistake or folly. It can be only that the , decision based on the available variables was wrong on back of an unknown variable hence it is an act of fate , about which you can’t do a thing.

A whole paragraph wasted on justifying the process of wrong decision making with support of logic is the gift that has made me professionally so sound, alas if I could convince or at best lie to myself. But may be I am right this time , there is no right decision ever , all decisions we make in life are the best at the point of making. Hence I stand by every decision I made in life , but who the hell has stopped the ever conspiring mind from creating what if scenarios. So here I am drawing all the what ifs from my quiver. The list is so large that I am beginning to wonder if the lord Krishna is constantly replenishing my quiver with all the what ifs instead of the silk saris he benevolently lent to Draupadi . I guess so is the case with every individual who has time to spare and no one to share it with. Everybody has their own set of disappointments in life , some squander all their future blaming that one moment , some just pick up and move on but have left a significant something of themselves in that moment, some move as if nothing has happened. I have never been sure which way did I take.
I took upon the task to sit down and make a list of ten largest dumb ass decisions of my life (Excluding my birth on this planet as technically and rightfully it is my parents mistake, again as I said earlier a perfectly genuine decision having gone wrong in future). Like all real life situations it has thrown up the various variables , how do I rank the decisions. Following the escapist route I decided to write down the decisions now and can rank them later. This has lead to situation where in actually I can list down more than ten decisions on piece of paper and eliminate the good ones which were not dumb enough to make it to top ten. Now the problem with that is , with an impressive armory of bad decision making like that of mine , what is the cut off point. Well like the consultants in our office (whom we paid 6% of our company revenue to teach us to save 2% of the cost, which is in effect 80% of our revenue in effect we contributed 4.4% of our companies revenue to the consultants family welfare fund) taught us to go for the low hanging fruits. I am going from the order of dumbest.

Go No Go - Introduction

It is at this point I have to decide what is that I want to write about. In event of any accidental reader chancing upon this piece of mumbles , let him or her be pre warned that this entire documents contains my take on life around me. The event described could be absolute reality or modified reality or absolute fiction but be assured it will be viewed through the strange and absolutely derided viewpoint of mine. This is not an autobiography or a pseudo or a semi autobiography either ( You see I have to rule out all possibilities). It is just a collection of random thoughts and takes.

The go no go process allows all the process owners to clear a set of activity with their preparedness for a activity. In my case go no go would go like this .

My abilities to write a book
“no go”

Availability of time
“no go”

Availability of resource i.e. a computer

So the only reason why anybody will be troubled to read any further is that I have computer and decent typing skills and the reader has really hit the pit of his or her life.

Now moving on to set the tone of things to come read this opening paragraph.

With toxic waste flowing through our veins it is so difficult to stay pure. The age when purity in thought and deed were integral part of being seem so long away. We all grow out to become what we wanted to or, most of the times what destiny sets out for us. But all along we keep facing so many paradox, one of them being, should we accept the realities of being grown up or keep remembering those innocent days and hope things would be just as simple as they were. Unfortunately life does not allow us to keep both the choices and we keep hoping for simplicity and we keeping making grown up choices one after another.
I have always been faced with such paradox and people say kept making smart choices. Unfortunately the world judges you on what they perceive to be right or wrong and not always do they match with your judgment of the situation. What the world does not see is the loss that was not stated and not so obvious losses, unfortunately again all my life the perception of my life has always been different from that of the outside world. The world kept counting what I won and I kept counting what I lost. The paradox here , every choice I made was for achieving exactly the world counted as the right choice, then why is that I am saddled with such self pity. I guess I wanted the proverbial “ I want it all” , dear o dear destiny has cruel ways teaching vain men.